True Wisdom
Was chatting with my best friend on Signal the other day, told her I met the man of my dreams and fell in love.
Each day I fall in love with him and with God even more. It’s a very complicated trinity.
I said to her, I’ve learned so much from you. Remember that time I came home from school last year and I was all stressed out and just ready to fight, and I got all nasty like YOU DON’T DO THIS AND YOU DON’T DO THAT AND YOU NEVER TAKE OUT THE TRASH AND AND AND
And then at some point she said she wanted to FINISH IT TONIGHT and I said NO, I’M CLEANING THE BATHROOM because on a very deep level, I know what a bitch I can be (Catholic guilt is really good for something), and I thought, Oh if I keep going, if I keep tearing into her, we will never be friends again and so she stomped out and took a walk and then we both went to bed separately and angry (we were roommates, not lesbians obvs). Then she went and visited her family for a week and came home and sat my ass down and calmly told me not to ever, ever take my school stress out on her again. And I said, Ok.
The relationship is never about the chores.
That’s the symptom, not the problem, we both chimed and nodded at the same time on our videocall.
Really, it’s about the anger, lack of intimacy, lack of forgiveness, the little things that build up in your mind — Oh she never does that and she’s not good enough this way and and and — and whatever other shit you’re carrying with you.
See? Shared faith, shared life vision, pray for your future husband! I told her.
I’m not going to move in with him until after our wedding, and it’s gonna be grand. The whole “you should move in before getting married” advice is bullshit, statistically that means you are MORE likely to get divorced.
Right now my man and I talk every day and pray for each other and grow in faith, hope, and love, and build toward a future together, separately. Separate continents, same life and vision, lots of love. Like Jacob and Rachel in the Bible, I told him. I will wait for him.
God brings me all the desires of my heart, eventually. In funny and ironic and wonderful ways. Awesome ways.
Our God is an awesome God!
