I came to peace with the mater’s diagnosis by meditating on this:
I am on God’s timeline, not my own.
Before then, life felt like an endless grindstone of classes, tasks, and things to be learned. I do remember my therapist in college telling me: Genevieve, your brain is not a machine — as in, stop trying to pound so much knowledge into it relentlessly all the time.
Knowledge and wisdom are two different concepts.
Frankly, thinking of life as seasonal and each day as God’s timeline has radically changed my life.
Once upon a time I had a rather ecstatic vision of God calling all people to Himself like an extremely good, charismatic and wise father who once mentored me.
(I do remember being high-key irritated that everyone in that workplace spoke of him like he was God all the time and…yeah, anyway, thus the importance of humility and fear of the Lord as a Catholic leader).
I suspect God calls all people to Himself — through His Word (the Bible), the sacraments, or death.
Thus, we all walk (or run) toward God through various ways and means.
(When I told Mr. Genevieve I wasn’t sure why he wanted a tiny, crazy, vanilla woman, HE said [REDACTED]).
Thus, because only God has the complete dataset on any one person’s life: the necessity of being one big, happy prayer family.
This is the only thing that has taught me to slow down in life and have discernment.
I think I also read somewhere that as a Christian, one should assume that the person opposite you is trying to tell you something for your own good.
There is a very special saint who had an incredibly ecstatic inner life…you can read more about St. Teresa of Avila here: https://www.theculturium.com/teresa-of-avila-the-ecstasy-of-love/